close the book, but don't throw it away

"who knows what could happen? do you what do you just keep on laughing. one thing's true, there's always a brand new day.."

Thanks to Zarith's playlist for that song. It's Who Knows - Avril Lavigne . The question is, am I able to do what the song says? Keep on laughing? Live today like it's my last? I wish. *sigh* Right now, I can't deny that I feel extremely sad, broken sprited and so many more. I mean, I can't even talk to anyone about it except Zarith. I'm being cold and mean (not sure if it's intentional or not) to those who care, but I don't know, it's just this time, I really feel like being alone. Friends and family are there for me, I know, and I appreciate them being really supportive and caring. I'm taking Zarith's advice at the moment in which she said, I need to think for myself, think what is best. She's right. I need to think for myself, I need to be alone to think about all of this. (Thanks for understanding me cuzz, you're the one and only who do understand. I love you :)

I've decided to step out of his life, for good. It hurts, but for his happiness, I'm willing to do it. I sent him one last email as my last farewell. He said his life is filled with problems at the moment, and that's when I made my decision to ease his life. With me out, one burden lifted :) The truth is, I never wanted to leave him. I loved him so much. Guys like him are like,so hard to find. But just like Nelly Furtado's single, "All good things come to an end". It's true right? Nothing lasts forever. Plus, I read a quote in a video in YouTube which says, "The fastest way to lose love is to hold on to it too tightly" I think in my case, it's true. When our relationship was falling apart, I kept trying to hold on to the pieces, but I guess I held on too tight till those pieces slipped right through my fingers.

" please forgive me, I know not what I do. please forgive me, I can't loving you. don't deny me, this pain I'm going through. please forgive me if I need you like I do. please believe me, every word I say is true. please forgive me, I can't stop loving you.."

Chorus from Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams. wowee. It's so deep. That's exactly how I feel at the moment. *sigh*

I need to move on. I need to be strong. I need to be tough. InsyaAllah, as time passes by, I'd be able to do such things. :)

Memories of us will stay in vain. The bitter, the sweet, I'll cherish them all. Thank you for stopping by in my life. I wish you could have stayed longer, but hey, if it's destined, it's destined :)

Hugs and Kisses,
ShaSha